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From the Desk of the Doctor

Steven Tobias, Psy.D.

Tips from "Emotionally Intelligent Parenting"

Steven Tobias co-authored "Emotionally Intelligent Parenting" in 1999 with Drs. M.I. Elias and B.S. Friedlander. The book presents a model for facilitating the emotional, social, and behavioral development of children. It is based on the principles and strategies Dr. Tobias teaches in the parenting workshops at the Center.

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Strategies for Teaching a Child with ADHD

Read Dr. Tobias's recommendations for successfully teaching a child with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

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The Benefits of Spirituality

Spirituality is a normal human need.
It comes naturally to children – their awe and wonder about the world.

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Keep Calm

One important strategy to cope with strong emotional reactions and to stay in control is a simple breathing technique called “Keep Calm.” Although simple in its steps, it can be very difficult to do when needed, so a great deal of practice is necessay. A form of this exercise is common to Lamaze, yoga, and sports psychology.

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Children & Technology

Read Dr. Tobias's 7 recommendations for healthy use of technology for children.

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Potty Problems

Most children, when developmentally ready, toilet train themselves regardless of the strategies used by the parents. Children like having control over their bodies, and learning to use the potty is one of the great accomplishments of early childhood. Unfortunately, when children have difficulty controlling their urine or bowel movements, it causes stress for both them and their families. This stress usually causes avoidance on the child’s part, and anxiety on the parents’ part, which compound the problem.

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Allowance Can Teach Values & Responsibility

Most parents don’t recognize the powerful tool allowance can be to teach children family values. The appropriate use of household responsibilities and allowance can help ameliorate a child’s ever-increasing exposure to material­ism, self-centeredness and immediate gratification.

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How Are You Feeling?

Everyday people ask, "How are you?" You usually answer, "Fine, thanks. How are you?" They respond, "Fine." And this is probably not true for either of you. No one seems to take this question seriously when it is maybe the most important question in life. How you are feeling impacts on what you do. If you are happy, you are likely to spread your cheer. If you are angry, you are likely to spread your wrath. How you are feeling is also important on a deeper level. It embodies the meaning of life. Is not life about feelings? If someone asks, "How are you?" and you can answer "Content," you are doing pretty well. Being aware of our feelings can help us cope with those feelings, change our behavior, and enrich our lives.

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Natural & Logical Consequences

Natural consequences are those that occur naturally in the environment; the child touches a hot stove, gets burned, and learns not to touch the stove. A logical consequence is logically related to the behavior; a child takes a long time to complete homework and misses television time.

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